how did 4 months just go by?

I am so sorry.  I am the absolute worst.  I cannot believe that it has been this long since I updated you!  I am parenting ’round the clock (duh- but I mean like no daycare and not a lot from the hubbs or other family. Or friends.) so, seriously, the 3 hours I get to myself at night are usually filled with planning, shopping, cleaning bottles, watching Jimmy Fallon, etc… I have not had the energy to write.  BUT, I just have to say hello! I think about you all the time, and hope that everyone is doing great and that there have been some BFP’s out there!

Harlow is 4 months old. I feel like I pushed her out yesterday.  I know this is such a cliche, but wow time is crazy with a baby.  I just celebrated my preggoversary- a year ago that we found out that we were pregnant.  That also feels like a few months ago- not a year. The most exciting and the most horrifyingly scary time of my life- those first weeks.

Lets talk:

I still pee my pants sometimes.  mostly when I push out a toot. gosh, I’m a gross loser.

we got a new car- a big gas guzzler and I love it.  Harlow’s car seat literally went from wiggling around to basically being super glued to the seat, so bite me.

I mostly do cloth diapers and wipes, so bite me again.

I got my first post postpartum period. Bummed me out! I was at my first party (Friendsgiving) with all my friends and camped out on a white couch. awesome.  BUT i didn’t leak.  Except for when I hemmoraghed for the next 4 days. Holy smokes that period was no joke.  I mean, I should have just shoved a rolled up towel up there, because that would be the only thing that would have done a proper job.  but hey- NO CRAMPS!!!!!

My daughter literally puked on the grave of her great-grandfather. I have a photo to prove it. Our jaws were just dropped in horror.  She is hilarious. I think she’s heard some of the Grandpa stories.  Let’s just say he had some naughty, dementia induced fun on his way out- he was so bad and exhausted us all emotionally. anyway, she puked on his grave.

A story: we started going back to church and a lady had to sub in the nursery. She is like this single lady her in 50’s- never married, lots of facial hair- kind of a character. I imagine many cats. Bev, baby whisperer and 80’s makeup and accessory queen, couldn’t be there, so the sub, let’s call her Sally, had to take Harlow. This church has like 6 members, I am not kidding.   She acted mortified that she had to take care of our baby, so I decided I would hang out for a while and see how comfortable she was and then maybe go into the service after a bit.  I fed Harlow and asked if there was a burp rag since she quickly annihilated the only one I had brought.  Sally, was like “OMG” and started scurrying around for one.  Then she pulls out a plastic trash bag. It was obvious, you could see the red tabs.

me: um…..

Sally: “Would this work? what is this!?”

me: Jesus Christ

but I was in church so I was just talking about the bible.

no I wasn’t- I was pissed.

Me: “well, that there’s a trashbag.”

Sally: “will that work?”

Me: Yeah I’m staying

Hmmmm..I can’t be worrying about sally every week.

Harlow always has her little hands clasped and I am already worried that she is behind developmentally.  just kidding she is a genius, but I do wonder when she will decide to unclench those fists and reach out and touch someone. for now, it’s cool because my long luscious locks have been saved.

speaking of hair, i am having my postpartem shed. I take like 3 hour showers because much of it is just me trying to get all the hairs untangled from my fingers. It is crazy how much hair I “lose” every day. I should save it and make harlow a doll. that’s a normal thing, right?

breastfeeding is totally better but my supply just never got gack to 100% so I supplement every feeding with formula.  This has been the biggest disappointment of all, but it is what it is.  She was tongue tied, and that was our reality.  I am trying to re-lactate- drinking tea, taking herbs, and last night I made cookies. We shall see, but in the end my Naturopath said “She is still going to be the same girl.” Totally true. She is a chunky monkey and has the best cellulite on her thighs.

Reasons you may want to call CPS:

She sleeps on her tummy

…..Sometimes with a blankie on her! OMG!

We just put in bumpers (hey at least they’re mesh)

We have decided not to vaccinate.

NOW, stop rolling your eyes. We have made all these decisions based on our own experiences and a lot of thought and research. She is just a tummy sleeper and that’s all there is to it.  I know there is a secret club of us who do it.  The moment we did that, she slept so soundly.  We have a video monitor in her room and she is checked on constantly.  Her neck is strong and SHE’S FINE.  She is a little scooter though, so I would hear her grunting and check on her and she would have her arms and legs in the crib slats- HELL NO. SO… in the bumpers went.  My child will not fracture herself in her crib slats- not on my watch.

The vaccination thing is another beast. Man, people think we are nuts. I usually don’t like to get into it because people can be downright hostile.  I do ask people what research prompted them TO vaccinate though, and they never really have an answer. For us, most of the vaccines are for things that are basically eradicated in he US.  Yes, if polio rears its head in the US, then maybe there is a risk for it, but the chances are SO LOW. Other things are things that we can address in the very off chance that she contracts them.  The ingredients in those things are crazy and it just makes me uncomfortable.   We know a few people who said that once their children were vaccinated, they were never the same.  Granted, they do it more slowly now, but still.  Its crazy to me, for instance, that people will pump all day and night or run around town finding donated milk to feed their kids only breast milk, but then shoot them up with mystery chemicals without question because its just “what everyone does.”  I don’t know.  It’s just something we think about and talk about a lot, and we are very at peace with it now.  Neither of us were vaccinated, so its our “normal” anyway.

my landlord is a lunatic still.  I love being a renter. It makes me feel like such a big girl. I love paying $2100 to live in a basement apartment. super cool. Example:  we share trash and recycling with her and every week, (she is renovating her part of the house) she FILLS the recycling with un-broken-down boxes, and huge pieces of WOOD. Since when do we put WOOD in the recycling bin? SO then what? they reject it, and don’t come back for another TWO weeks. Meanwhile, my perfectly broken down boxes; and rinsed bottles and cans have nowhere to go because WOOD AND BOXES. This is the kind of crap that makes me lose it.

Do you guys know Jamie Grayson, the BABY GUY? I kind of want to be his female counterpart.  I am so OCD about researching baby gear, etc… sometimes I think my calling is being a gear reviewer, etc…  I love stuff.  and things.  Would you be interested in me telling you what I use, and why? I dunno.  I just really don’t want to be someone who has a lame vlog and starts her shotty youtube videos sounding like a cheerleader with “Hey guys!….” ugh. I can’t. You should also know that I have pricey taste. I’m tryyyyyingggg to be better.

I hope that you all have an awesome Christmas. or Holiday or Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate, but I celebrate Christmas, so I am wishing you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! We have like 3 trillion people descending upon us and it is going to be insane.  I love Christmas and am really exited.  I have not purchased anything for the baby. Is that bad. I feel like maybe it is.  but she is 4 months old.  i am pocketing that money for myself. sorry. but seriously. she’s 4 months old.

Here are some pics of my chubby darling. I hope you are all doing so great! H met santa yesterday!

{Side story: because we live in a ridiculously PC Seattle, it was Asian-American Santa day. We didn’t realize it until we were in line and peaked through a little window where you could see the photos taking place. I started to panic a little bit- not because I don’t like Asians -half my friends are Asians! but it’s just not the picture that I had dreamed up in my Mind of H’s baby santa photo. A and I were trying to figure out how to jump ship without coming off like total racists. Well, lucky for us, about ten minutes before it was our turn, Asian Santa went to “feed his reindeer” and he came back white!! }

So we got our classic photo. If this offends you I apologize, but seriously, come on.





2 thoughts on “how did 4 months just go by?

  1. Dude, ditto on the vaccinations!! There’s so many reasons not to if you actually do a little research. At first I was just going to do a delayed schedule and pick and choose but I am pretty sure she won’t be getting any. It’s so contentious though. I am praying the topic doesn’t come up at xmas with my Dr. SIL and worry wart MIL! Anyway, H is so perfect and adorable! I am the opposite with gifts, I can’t stop!!! It’s so fun and easy to get stuff for Hazy. I don’t want to buy anyone else gifts but her I could shop for all day! B asked if we were going to wrap all her presents since it’s just us on xmas morning opening them and I was like uh, DUH!!! I am so excited for her first xmas!
    Sorry you are still peeing yourself. Work those pelvic floor muscles girl!

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