Oh my gosh you guys. This. Is. INSANITY. I love this baby so much but, she is KICKING MY ASS!!! Not that I am not crazy in love with her, and so grateful, but I think because I had to wait so long, I was living in an ultimate fantasy world where my baby wouldn’t cry, nursing would be easy because it’s natural, and my husband and I would giggle and laugh whenever it got “hard” because we were just so GRATEFUL. And “our marriage is stronger.” I know you know all the good stuff. So I am about to drop some reality on you. gitty up.
I pee when I sneeze.
Something happens to you and I was and can still be so mean to my husband because I sometimes hate everything he does. I hate the way he talks to her (same as our dog), holds her (how can I hold her so she looks most like she will fall), feeds her (how can i feed her as lazy as possible so I can still use my iphone to look at sports blogs), dresses her (how roughly can I do this), pets her head (same as the dog) etc… It’s all wrong and I hate it all sometimes. anyone else? poor guy.
Good luck leaving your house before 2pm. just try.
Harlow was tongue tied. I spent two weeks trying to nurse a barracuda until we found out. My nipples were bleeding and I sobbed and punched the mattress when she latched on. Please get help from a board certified lactation consultant if you suspect nursing could be a better experience than if you were dropped into the bowels of Hell.
In the middle of the night you may tell your sweet baby to stop being a dick- or u. your head you might say, “shut up!” really mean and you will feel like the devil the next morning when she is cooing at you and reminding you what an innocent, helpless and incredible gift she is.
Your pets will become second class citizens and you will feel SUCH GUILT every time you lay your eyes on their sweet, bored faces as you run past them to find a barf rag. DO NOT GET A PET IF YOU ARE PREGNANT. Their needs make everything harder.
Sometimes you just have to yell, “FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!” and that’s okay.
Suddenly, you want your crazy, dead-starfish-collecting-mother-in-law to come over ALL OF THE DAYS.
Motherhood is no joke. Those who have twins- i can’t even. It IS amazing and I am so grateful everyday for the opportunity to raise this sweet girl. I feel badly that I can’t blog more and I know that as we get in more of a rhythm that that will get a little easier? And of course, my topic will shift more now that my experience is different… I have ideas for where I would want to go with this, but the infertility aspect would take more of a backseat. I think you would understand that as wouldn’t we all want to leave that hell behind if we could?
I have to go now. I have more to say, but my baby has shit on her onesie and we have our one month well-baby visit in less than an hour and I need to look more put together than a teen mom.
Still so worth it. keep fighting.