mother’s day is still lame

It’s funny to me that I was finally pregnant on a Mother’s Day and I am still super disappointed in it.  Maybe I should just get ready for a lifetime of this.  Maybe this day is always a let down because the ball is in the man’s court to make it awesome and we all know how that can go.   If I were a guy and my wife was finally pregnant on Mother’s day after 4  years of infertility, I would do something awesome to make her feel special.  Instead I got this:

“But you’re not a mom.  We don’t have a kid.”

Was he fucking serious?

I have a baby kicking inside me.  I am a mom.  I was a mom before this baby was cooking.  I was a mom when I was spending years fighting for this baby’s existence. And I have been a mom to our god damned pets for YEARS.  DO something for ME that shows you appreciate everything I DO for this FAMILY.  Maybe now that you are half-assedly taking care of the litter box you feel like you are my equal, but I assure you that you are NOT.  I am doing stuff to mother everything with a heart beat in this house (including him) and I would like a simple gesture of THANKS for that! Just get me a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup at LEAST!

I know this guy who sent flowers to the hotel room his wife was staying at on a quick work trip just because he missed her! They were there hen she arrived!  It’s those guys who are ruining it for us.  What do they *get* that our men don’t???  What is especially annoying is that  most of my friends think I am married to “that guy,” so I can’t imagine how hard they must feel they have it!

Well, I proved him dead wrong later in the day when I counted 10 texts from friends and family that said “Happy Mother’s Day!”

In yo face!

He semi-admitted defeat in that argument, but did he manage to go pick some wildflowers off the street once he knew what the day meant to me this year? nope!  nothing! nothing happened!


Gah, seriously sometimes I wonder. I really do.

Things are rolling along here.  I am still living with my in-laws.  Its nice, but it is also really rough and I am ready to go!  They are anti-animal, as I may have mentioned, however we are living with them with our two animals.  This is so stressful for me.  We are in a bedroom with the cat, who is literally ruining our lives.  We have the liter box in the bathroom in the room which means when she shits every night, she wakes us up from her incessant scratching to cover it up.  As if in her 13 years as an indoor cat, there has ever been another predatory animal around who would pick up her scent and murder her in her home.  Then, like clockwork every few days, she decides to wretch for a good 30 seconds and then vomit at 4:30 am.  It’s always 4:30.  It is pretty weird.  I love waking up to that. I love cleaning up cat puke at 4:30 am.  Then, once I am done cleaning BARF off THE WHITE CARPET OF MY ANTI-ANIMAL MOTHER-IN-LAW’S CARPET and get myself back in bed, she is all, “Oh good, you’re up!” and I’m like “No. I am not. Please stop licking my arm with your needle covered tongue. please stop nudging your way under my sheets so that you can lie between my legs for 5 minutes before you decide it’s too scary to be there and you leave anyway. and please stop kneading my hair into knots with your knife-like talons.  I haven’t slept through the night in weeks.  Yes I am about to have a newborn- I understand that.  But I don’t have one yet, so I would like to actually enjoy my remaining months of sleep.

It is so bad that A has decided to stop sleeping in that room with me and he has moved downstairs to another bedroom entirely.  We haven’t slept together for like a month.  Because of the cat. This is why people hate cats.   She will eventually kick both of us out and will have a room with a view of the water to herself entirely.  Pure. feline. satanic. genius.

We are desperately looking for a home.  I guess you could say we have until like July, but I am feeling so restless.  We don’t own ONE baby item. I am a planner and an organizer, so if you are the same, you can imagine my horror at this situation.  We are having trouble agreeing on anything.  A has hinted we should just live in an Apartment for a year to save money! (He wants to buy a house next year)  AN APARTMENT!!!!!  Now.  I am not trying to sound like a snob, but I will be 33 years old next month, my husband makes a decent living and yet still, I am going to have to bring my sweet baby home to an APARTMENT COMPLEX with a bunch of 20 year olds and gross people with noisy chihuahuas?!  EFF THAT!!!!  All I can picture is my life as some scene from the movie “Precious” or something like that.

Sorry.  it’s just that two years ago we left the most perfect little house in the most perfect little neighborhood, and I am looking for that again.  I HAVE to have that with a baby.  I was so happy in that house.  It was home.  We put things on the porch during all of the Holidays.  We could have people over.  A said it was sinking us financially and eventually we would have had to leave.  But I was soooooooo happy there.

We are thinking so much in stereotypical male/female roles.  He is thinking bottom line, and I am thinking quality of life.  I want a house or a townhouse where I am happy to be cooped up in all day with a new baby.  He wants to save money so we can buy a crappy house in a semi-desirable neighborhood because we live in Seattle and a fixer upper will cost us at least $400k in the neighborhood we want. run-on sentence, I know.  Yes, I said a fixer upper. That’s not even for a good house.  Our pets, God bless them, add an entirely new level of fun to the process seeing as no one wants our drooley, saggy faced dog and our barfy cat in their rental.  WELL WHY THE HECK NOT?!?! Yes, they are animals, but human kids are way, way grosser!

So anyway, that is where we are.  Our needs have always been met and I need to continue to trust that that does not come in a limited supply.  Our place is out there.  I would just like it to reveal itself sooner than later because I really need to start nesting.

Please pray for us.

Also because, mother-in-law.




12 thoughts on “mother’s day is still lame

  1. I had the same type of mother’s day. I guess I had expectations & my husband thought we should just see our mothers. No pancakes in bed for me. Boo. Next year. I warned him. Next year will be all about me!
    I also get your frustration with the living situation. I am a planner myself. I hope you find something soon! Good luck!

  2. My baby evacuated my uterus 5 weeks prior to Mother’s Day and my husband still managed to NOT DO ANYTHING. Men are weak, feeble creatures with a few charming attributes. Giant sigh. I’ve decided that your second Mother’s Day is the big one. That works for both of us.

    • UNACCEPTABLE!!!! That is 10 times worse!!!!! How could that just SLIP HIS MIND!? okay this is giving me a very promising business idea.

  3. OMG, OMG, OMG we are married to THE SAME MAN. Literally, exact same reaction to Mother’s Day, and it made me sad. He vaguely said he would “help me with the laundry since it was Mother’s Day…” but do you think that happened? No. Not at all. Thank goodness for my friends who texted and wrote on my Facebook wall, because at least they made me feel validated.

    And yeah, this just means that next year they have noooo excuse.

    • That’s funny that you say that because when I read your blog, I think the same thing about how similar our guys seem! ha! Next year better be epic. I mean maybe a trip to Tiffany epic.

  4. Well Happy Mothers Day from me to you! You deserve it… especially with growing a little one inside of you and even more so after a long struggle with infertility and for having to clean up cat barf at 4:30 am daily. Oh my you poor thing! Hope you are able to get your way and move into home that feels right for you to nest and bring home baby to. xo

  5. Oh girl, I do not envy your situation right now. I love my in-laws, but I’m pretty sure I would kill them if I had to live with them while I was pregnant. I really really hope your house turns up soon so you can GTFO and start nesting.

    My hubby didn’t do anything for Mother’s Day either, even though I hinted at it for a while. He finally asked if I wanted him to do anything (at like 9 pm,) and I told him it would have been nice to get a card or something. I guess men just don’t think like that.

    • I love that. yes, time to GTFO! So the consensus is that after all we have been through, all of our husbands failed us. That is so F’d up! All of us! I think A is just not attached they way I am because I feel her and carry her. That’s my only reasoning. They just see a bulbus on our body and that’s where it ends. And to not pick up hints. I have learned it a million times. You have to be direct, but that feels selfish and bitchy. Then if they do something, you know it’s not because they thought of it from their hearts which ruins it all.

      • See, that’s the thing, I sent K the exact thing I wanted for Mother’s Day in an email! I agree that K isn’t as attached as I am, he actually told me that he was surprised that I felt like I was a mother already. Oh well, I’m sure A, K, and all of our husbands will be amazing fathers once they get to bond with their babies and they’ll (hopefully) make up for everything next year.

  6. Ha, I love everyone’s comments that their husbands also did nothing for Mother’s day! Mine only acknowledged it because I dropped blatant hints for three weeks before. He still did next to nothing. My sister brought me flowers. He did not get me flowers. He did take me thrift store shopping but only because he was looking for shirts. He finally gave in after practically a year of denying me Indian food…so I guess there’s that.

    I personally would so much rather live in an apartment for a year until you find the perfect house instead of camping out with inlaws! There are lots of quiet apartments and you would likely be able to live in a very walkable area which would be really nice with a newborn.

    Doesn’t the housing market just totally blow in Seattle? It’s awful. We will never own a house and that makes me sad. 😦

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