mother’s day is still lame

It’s funny to me that I was finally pregnant on a Mother’s Day and I am still super disappointed in it.  Maybe I should just get ready for a lifetime of this.  Maybe this day is always a let down because the ball is in the man’s court to make it awesome and we all know how that can go.   If I were a guy and my wife was finally pregnant on Mother’s day after 4  years of infertility, I would do something awesome to make her feel special.  Instead I got this:

“But you’re not a mom.  We don’t have a kid.”

Was he fucking serious?

I have a baby kicking inside me.  I am a mom.  I was a mom before this baby was cooking.  I was a mom when I was spending years fighting for this baby’s existence. And I have been a mom to our god damned pets for YEARS.  DO something for ME that shows you appreciate everything I DO for this FAMILY.  Maybe now that you are half-assedly taking care of the litter box you feel like you are my equal, but I assure you that you are NOT.  I am doing stuff to mother everything with a heart beat in this house (including him) and I would like a simple gesture of THANKS for that! Just get me a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup at LEAST!

I know this guy who sent flowers to the hotel room his wife was staying at on a quick work trip just because he missed her! They were there hen she arrived!  It’s those guys who are ruining it for us.  What do they *get* that our men don’t???  What is especially annoying is that  most of my friends think I am married to “that guy,” so I can’t imagine how hard they must feel they have it!

Well, I proved him dead wrong later in the day when I counted 10 texts from friends and family that said “Happy Mother’s Day!”

In yo face!

He semi-admitted defeat in that argument, but did he manage to go pick some wildflowers off the street once he knew what the day meant to me this year? nope!  nothing! nothing happened!

HELLO!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

Gah, seriously sometimes I wonder. I really do.

Things are rolling along here.  I am still living with my in-laws.  Its nice, but it is also really rough and I am ready to go!  They are anti-animal, as I may have mentioned, however we are living with them with our two animals.  This is so stressful for me.  We are in a bedroom with the cat, who is literally ruining our lives.  We have the liter box in the bathroom in the room which means when she shits every night, she wakes us up from her incessant scratching to cover it up.  As if in her 13 years as an indoor cat, there has ever been another predatory animal around who would pick up her scent and murder her in her home.  Then, like clockwork every few days, she decides to wretch for a good 30 seconds and then vomit at 4:30 am.  It’s always 4:30.  It is pretty weird.  I love waking up to that. I love cleaning up cat puke at 4:30 am.  Then, once I am done cleaning BARF off THE WHITE CARPET OF MY ANTI-ANIMAL MOTHER-IN-LAW’S CARPET and get myself back in bed, she is all, “Oh good, you’re up!” and I’m like “No. I am not. Please stop licking my arm with your needle covered tongue. please stop nudging your way under my sheets so that you can lie between my legs for 5 minutes before you decide it’s too scary to be there and you leave anyway. and please stop kneading my hair into knots with your knife-like talons.  I haven’t slept through the night in weeks.  Yes I am about to have a newborn- I understand that.  But I don’t have one yet, so I would like to actually enjoy my remaining months of sleep.

It is so bad that A has decided to stop sleeping in that room with me and he has moved downstairs to another bedroom entirely.  We haven’t slept together for like a month.  Because of the cat. This is why people hate cats.   She will eventually kick both of us out and will have a room with a view of the water to herself entirely.  Pure. feline. satanic. genius.

We are desperately looking for a home.  I guess you could say we have until like July, but I am feeling so restless.  We don’t own ONE baby item. I am a planner and an organizer, so if you are the same, you can imagine my horror at this situation.  We are having trouble agreeing on anything.  A has hinted we should just live in an Apartment for a year to save money! (He wants to buy a house next year)  AN APARTMENT!!!!!  Now.  I am not trying to sound like a snob, but I will be 33 years old next month, my husband makes a decent living and yet still, I am going to have to bring my sweet baby home to an APARTMENT COMPLEX with a bunch of 20 year olds and gross people with noisy chihuahuas?!  EFF THAT!!!!  All I can picture is my life as some scene from the movie “Precious” or something like that.

Sorry.  it’s just that two years ago we left the most perfect little house in the most perfect little neighborhood, and I am looking for that again.  I HAVE to have that with a baby.  I was so happy in that house.  It was home.  We put things on the porch during all of the Holidays.  We could have people over.  A said it was sinking us financially and eventually we would have had to leave.  But I was soooooooo happy there.

We are thinking so much in stereotypical male/female roles.  He is thinking bottom line, and I am thinking quality of life.  I want a house or a townhouse where I am happy to be cooped up in all day with a new baby.  He wants to save money so we can buy a crappy house in a semi-desirable neighborhood because we live in Seattle and a fixer upper will cost us at least $400k in the neighborhood we want. run-on sentence, I know.  Yes, I said a fixer upper. That’s not even for a good house.  Our pets, God bless them, add an entirely new level of fun to the process seeing as no one wants our drooley, saggy faced dog and our barfy cat in their rental.  WELL WHY THE HECK NOT?!?! Yes, they are animals, but human kids are way, way grosser!

So anyway, that is where we are.  Our needs have always been met and I need to continue to trust that that does not come in a limited supply.  Our place is out there.  I would just like it to reveal itself sooner than later because I really need to start nesting.

Please pray for us.

Also because, mother-in-law.