I am writing this while laundry goes, because my cat literally shit the bed last night. The dog was whining at the little baby gate we have up dividing the cat’s dog-free living space from the rest of the house. Well, when I went into the bedroom to see what he could want in there, I saw that she had pooped on the bed. Exactly where A’s pillow would normally be. He was whining for her poo. He wanted the poo. In his mouth. I am so glad that A is in Seattle for work or he would have absolutely FLIPPED to see the cat he doesn’t like, had pooped where he rests his sweet head. My pets are seriously preparing me for aspects of motherhood for sure. Today alone was poo, 2 barfs, and a drooley basset mouth that I have to wipe after each drink of water. Also, hair.
Anyway. Today, I am 11 weeks.! I can’t believe it. We are getting so close to completing the 1st trimester. I was able to stop the Crinone last week, and let me tell you it wasn’t that bad, but I will not miss what I call, “Crinone Crumble.” If you have been on the stuff then you know exactly what I am talking about. “Crinone Crumble” is basically like feta cheese coming out of you. It happened to me every few days when my body would just release the buildup up of these nightly suppositories. sick. I had sex once while on Crinone and I think that A was scarred. He never actually told me that it happened, but I suspect he got crinone crumbled unbeknownst to me. Between that and doing giney check whenever I feel anything oozing down there, I had been spending a lot of time with my hands in my pants. I can’t even wait to get to the bathroom sometimes. If I feel a rush of something, I need to know IMMEDIATELY that it is not my baby coming out of me or blood or anything scary, so I will do a finger check right away, I don’t even care where I am! I’m so gross. I’m like a chimpanzee or something. we all do it.
Currently, I am sipping on club soda with ice and a wedge of fresh lemon. That works for me. I am enjoying that. Also, string cheese. I could eat 6 in one sitting. I limit myself to 2. Cheese in general, has been tasty. Vegetables are a serious turn off. Which makes me sad because I LOVE veggies! Sorry baby, you are living on a diet of cheese. Surprise, surprise. I like scrambled eggs, and fage greek yogurt. The kind with the honey on the side. Last night I made a baked potato with guess what? Cheese. and greek yogurt. I bought strawberries yesterday and they tasted like the nectar of the gods. Also, smuckers uncrustables. grape.
I usually eat so well!* gah! whatever. Everyone tells me it’s ok. so fine. At this point I can’t even imagine sitting down at a restaurant and having a longing to order a meal. I fee like I will never eat like that again. But I know I will. It will pass, and I am grateful for the discomfort. It’s temporary and it’s for a good cause!
It is just me or do all stores have NO GOOD CLOTHES right now for people who are a little bit pregant?! I am in such trouble. All of my clothes are feeling tight despite the fact that I really don’t have a bump at all. I think I am just in that bloated stage. A said that I looked a little chubby in a good way. He then proceeded to tell me my boobs haven’t grown at all. So I’m chubby with small boobs. Cool! Hopefully I can find some on trend elastic wasted pants made from velour (no?) soon because I am getting to the point of desperation. I want to wear cooler leggings with longer T’s and tops that cover my butt. NOT that are cropped. Why is this so hard for me to find right now? In Hawaii, all the stores have the same seasonal items that you all have. Meaning, when I go shopping right now it’s sweaters, coats, scarves and leather. No, Black leather leggings do not sound good to me as I bike in 82 degrees to my job where the A/C has been broken for over a month. No, just no.
It’s getting exciting thinking we are approaching the time where we will tell family and close friends. Only A’s parents and my mom know. My mom hasn’t even told my step-dad. She is an amazing secret keeper. I am so happy she is not one of those women who run their mouths and gossips about my life. We have an appt at 12 weeks, 2 days next week and we will see how it goes. As long as everything goes well, we will think about making some calls. No one knows we have been doing IVF. They will be shocked and that will be so fun. I still feel like I am pretending. I haven’t even taken a “bump” picture yet! I would feel like such a faker! I saw that baby last week though. It was moving around a lot and the heartbeat was strong, so I know it’s not a hoax that everyone is in on except for me. Though sometimes I do think mayyyyybe.
But I am brought back to reality as it is dinner time and I don’t really want to eat, so that’s how I know. Usually I’m all “Whose up for some Taco Bell!?”
*I DO eat well, so stop judging after my Taco Bell comment. It’s my vice, so shove it up your chalupa.