This picture of my dog again, has nothing to do with anything. Its is adorable and that is why I put it in here. I hope my future human kids are as sweet as he is.
Do you know what sucks about Hawaii? Pregnant women aren’t hiding under anything. I see pregnant women here in two forms. They are either in bikinis, or they are under skin-tight maxi dresses. Like, as if the whole dress was made from spanx. I went to the beach last weekend and as A was bodysurfing in the water with our friend who was in town visiting, I was reading a magazine on the beach. I am not kidding you, there were 3 pregnant women in tiny bikinis around me on this “deserted” beach. There is nothing more divisive than an infertile woman on a beach surrounded by naked pregnant women.
Yesterday I was in Whole Foods, crouched down and looking at pasta sauce. I practically stood up into this woman. I gazed upwards and an adorable pregnant woman in a TIGHT black maxi and a fedora standing right over me looking at something higher up on the shelf. “Gah!” I said as I avoided a collision between us. I also moved away as if she was diseased at the same time. She thought it was funny, hee hee, because you know, she’s got that ADORABLE belly getting in the way and smacking all sorts of people in their faces!
While I was cleaning my living room this morning, I turned on the t.v and discovered this little gem on the learning channel.
Obese and Expecting.
Have any of you seen this?! Yeah I watched. I watched it good. I watched the whole thing. I am not going to lie and I don’t want to sound like a dick, but this show was infuriating. Yes, because of the fatness. These women are in the high 200’s and low 300’s (pounds) and are pregnant. They have managed to get pregnant and sustain those pregnancies while I, over here, am taking care of myself and I get nothing. These women were sweet and lovely but I can’t help but be angry that people who seem so lazy about their health can get it. Don’t watch it. Well, maybe do. I can’t say anything else without coming off as a hater.
I mean should I just not watch t.v anymore? Tonight on E! (I’m waiting for Modern Family to start OKAY!?!) They did a baby bump story! Oh how fun! I should have changed the channel but I also had this sick urge to be in the know so that I could then be outraged. So here is the breakdown:
Olivia Wilde is 3 months pregnant. Not married, but engaged- been dating Jason Sudakeis since 2011. So, two WHOLE YEARS they have been together. again, not married, but pregnant. annoying.
Jesse James- reality “star,” and generally annoying young girl. Married for 4 months, and pregnant. 4 FUCKING MONTHS MARRIED. 25 years old. just facepalm, that’s all I can do. And I quote, (referring to her 26 year old husband,) “He has been waiting to have kids for such a long time.” no. just no.
Kerry Washington- quietly dated her husband for a year and was married in January. SO… her whole relationship has been about 1.75 years long and she is pregnant. but not me.
Kristin Cavallari, 26- Married Since 2013! SO LONG AGO! Expecting her SECOND with rich athlete Jay Cutler. her SECOND.
So there you have it!
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?
sorry for the swear.
Why do these people get everything they want!?
I am just ready for the happy parts. Haven’t we suffered enough? Will this EVER END!? A and I have been an “Us” for almost 13 years and that lame Jesse James girl was 12 and probably in 6th grade when we started dating. It’s our turn, not hers. I know I may be coming to the finish line soon as my FET is around the corner, but this is the longest final lap ever.
Hang in there today, everyone. National Adorable Families day is upon us. I know how hard it is to open door after door to all those kiddos being so cute. Ugh, and the doting, costumed parents who stand behind them, joyfully watching as they shyly say trick or treat, some for the first time. I have closed the door and shed tears many a years on Halloween night. I know how hard and tortuous it can be. It effing sucks. We will all have that one day, let’s intend that! In the meantime, I say we play a game. take a shot for every trick or treater who comes to your door! Or take a shot every time a picture of a toddler in their costume pops up on your Instagram and Facebook feeds. Then, have your husbands take YOU trick or treating, and film it. and then send it to me so I can laugh. okay? okay.